Is your team stuck on status, or getting stuck in?

There's this complex but valuable saying.

I am not who I think I am.
I am not who YOU think I am.
I am who I THINK you think I am.

I reckon we spend a lot of time rallying our mental defenses against attacks from other people, that we've ENTIRELY MADE UP IN OUR HEADS.

To give a quick example - went for a beach walk this morning and didn't get to my desk until 9.30. Mentally prepared a defense to my husband in case he critiqued my 'poor work ethic'. Which he didn't. Because he didn't notice, he's just going about his life.

These mental battles are such a waste of energy.

And they distract us from more important and interesting problems.

When mini people trump MBA students

In a famous experiment, groups are asked to build a tower with spaghetti and marshmallows, in under 20 minutes. And surprisingly, kindergarten kids consistently outperform MBA students.

Because the MBAs spend too much time on impression management and 'status transactions'. Rather than getting stuck in and experimenting.

As Daniel Coyle outlines in 'The Culture Code':

"The business school students appear to be collaborating, but in fact they are engaged in a process psychologists call status management. They are figuring out where they fit into the larger picture: Who is in charge? Is it okay to criticize someone’s idea? What are the rules here? Their interactions appear smooth, but their underlying behavior is riddled with inefficiency, hesitation, and subtle competition. Instead of focusing on the task, they are navigating their uncertainty about one another. They spend so much time managing status that they fail to grasp the essence of the problem (the marshmallow is relatively heavy, and the spaghetti is hard to secure). As a result, their first efforts often collapse, and they run out of time.

The actions of the kindergartners appear disorganized on the surface. But when you view them as a single entity, their behavior is efficient and effective. They are not competing for status. They stand shoulder to shoulder and work energetically together. They move quickly, spotting problems and offering help. They experiment, take risks, and notice outcomes, which guides them toward effective solutions. The kindergartners succeed not because they are smarter but because they work together in a smarter way. They are tapping into a simple and powerful method in which a group of ordinary people can create a performance far beyond the sum of their parts."

Standing shoulder to shoulder and working energetically, together.

Or internally angsting, managing status and getting f-all done.

I know which type of team I'd rather be in.