How to have more fun
“It is fun to have fun, but you have to know how” (The cat in the hat)
(Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash)
You can tell a lot about a person’s priorities, and their current mental state, by what they read. It’s like a symbiotic ink-blot test. Authors write, and readers see their experiences and needs articulated on a white page in black ink. What an amazing skill, to enable people to say, “You speak from my heart”.
Lately my shelf has filled with books on primal, emotional topics. The Power of Regret by Daniel Pink. The Power of Fun - how to feel alive again, by Catherine Price. Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown. Phosphorescence - on awe, wonder, and things that sustain you when the world goes dark, by Julia Baird.
I want to hone in today on the fun book - because it’s awesomely nerdy to define the core components of fun, so that you can start to have more of it. And if you’re a buttoned-down type, there’s also a solid business case to be had for having more fun. People who experience greater levels of fun are happier, healthier, less stressed and resentful, and more energetic, creative and productive. So, in short, more alive - and of greater value to capitalism, if that’s a core requirement for you.
We’re also collectively in need of more fun - after 2.5 years of a global pandemic, dictators doing their thing, and a lack of ‘collective effervescence’, or that heightened sense of joy and vibrancy that we get from coming together in large groups. At concerts, rugby games, in night clubs, in plays, and so on.
To the book then. Catherine Price conducted research with a ‘fun squad’ of thousands, asking them to describe moments in life that were SO fun. After some in-depth qualitative analysis, she determined that ‘True Fun’ lies at the intersection of Connection, Playfulness and Flow. So when we are with other people, when we lighten up a bit, and when we’re lost in the moment (rather than being half-present and on our phones, for instance).
Adapted from Catherine Price: The Power of Fun
The topic of flow is an interesting one, because key happiness theorists like Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi have argued that flow is harder to come by in our leisure time than it is at work. There are a couple of things going on here. First, most of us are so tired at the end of the day that we collapse in front of the TV, and this type of passive consumption can be numbing in a nice way, but it isn’t usually stand-out fun and it doesn’t lead to positive flow. Second, leisure time doesn’t inherently have the key components that lead to flow. As Csikszentmihalyi points out:
“Ironically, jobs are actually easier to enjoy than free time, because like flow activities they have built-in goals, feedback, rules, and challenges, all of which encourage one to become involved in one’s work, to concentrate and lose oneself in it. Free time, on the other hand, is unstructured, and requires much greater effort to be shaped into something that can be enjoyed.”
In The Power of Fun, Price is careful to explain that even though Connection, Playfulness and Flow are always present when you’re having True Fun, the specifics of what brings you joy will be highly individual. We all have different places, people, and activities or common factors that spark us up. For me, it includes things with an element of variable reward - like fishing, gambling, and (when I was single), flirting. True fun often happens during friendly competition, in games that centre around words or images - but not strategy and taking over the world. And music often ‘dials up’ fun, whether that means dancing in a club, or singing really loudly while driving down an Auckland motorway at night, anonymous in the dark.
Extending the nerdiness even further, Price encourages people to start a ‘fun journal’, identifying moments of connection, playfulness and flow that occur throughout the day. I’ve started one myself, and in my post-Covid days of vague fatigue and impending Winter, it’s been a joyful piece of homework. Journalling your highlights helps you feel a greater sense of agency - better able to shape your context in ways that dial up the likelihood of fun. Because - key point - having more fun is a little like looking at a star. If you look straight at it, the light is elusive. You need to come at fun sideways - getting the preconditions right (eg connecting with other people, without tech, in a context where your ‘fun factors’ are present), and then hold your expectations lightly in your hand. In other words, be intentional but not too serious about fun.
Dr Seuss and his infamous cat were right. It is fun to have fun, and it’s also really essential, but you have to know how. Catherine Price has done an excellent job of pointing us in the right direction, with an evidence-based approach to having more fun. As you head into the long weekend, I hope you get to enjoy connection, playfulness and flow, so that when the week arrives, you’re full of stories about a mini-holiday that was SO fun.
x Renee from Thrive Lab