The criticality of connection - for Mental Health Awareness Week

For Mental Health Awareness Week, let's identify two of the KEY building blocks for a happy life. Money and fame, right?

Being like, super hot and popular?

Na, you know better.

Purpose and connection.
Meaning and mattering.
Or as Freud said, "Work and Love".

Today let's zoom in on connection.

You may have heard, but a lack of social connection is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It's worse for your mortality than inactivity or poor diet choices.

Conversely, having strong social connections will contribute to a happier and longer life.

Researchers talk about three types of connection:

⭐ Intimate - romantic partners, close family and friends. There's usually an upper limit of 15 or so people in this circle, and we spend about 60% of our time with just a handful of people (hello 3yo, 6yo and husband).

⭐ Relational - friends you see somewhat regularly, people you play sport with, your teammates at work, etc. You enjoy spending time with each other but you don't necessarily share your darkest secrets. There's an upper limit of about 150 people in this circle and the inner circle.

⭐ Collective - people who you amicably interact with, who help you to feel a sense of connection to the wider world. Maybe the barista at your local cafe, your neighbours down the road, people you put up voting hoardings with, fellow attendees at church or participants in online forums. There can be over 500 people in our network, once this circle is added in.

The interesting point is that you can feel lonely when there's a deficit in any one of these areas. And the solution will depend on the diagnosis.

For myself, I'm happy on the Intimate circle, but I'm self-employed and my best friends live far away. So I've had to invest in building low-friction rewarding friendships with other parents, in my hood. Strengthening that 'Relational' circle.

I'd guess that the Relational circle is a challenge in most teams, too.

Hybrid is a blessing but it can lead to disconnect. And WorkSafe have found that the top 3 psychosocial risks at work are workload, the speed and intensity of work, and the (perceived) need to conceal feelings from co-workers. Which is pretty sad hey.

So this Mental Health Awareness Week, wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a REAL conversation with at least one colleague, about how we're going? To feel seen and known, and less alone. With some hefty side benefits in terms of psychological safety, performance, happiness and longevity.

Or like, just keep focusing on looking really hot and getting famous😉